


Saint Raphael

by thatviciousvixen



Series: The Patron Saints [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: FTM Sonny, M/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Trans Character, Trans Sonny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 14:35:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5167484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatviciousvixen/pseuds/thatviciousvixen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They are not in a relationship. They are not falling in love. There is to be no romance, and when the sex is over they are to put their clothes back on and part ways until next time. There will be no dates, and the first time either one of them gets possessive or shitty or jealous it’s over for good. This is just a “with benefits” relationship without the added complication of really even being friends. More like work acquaintances with benefits, and Rafael intends to keep it that way.. </p>
<p>The rules are simple, completely clear, and absolutely set in stone.</p>
<p>So Rafael isn’t really sure why he’s walking up the stairs to Sonny’s apartment, a bag of cheap, shitty Chinese food in hand and his box set of Mystery Science Theater 3000 tucked under his arm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saint Raphael

**Author's Note:**

> Raphael the Archangel, the patron saint of happy meetings.

When they started this - whatever _this_ is - the ground rules had been fairly explicit. They are not in a relationship. They are not falling in love. There is to be no romance, and when the sex is over they are to put their clothes back on and part ways until next time. There will be no dates, and the first time either one of them gets possessive or shitty or jealous it’s over for good. This is just a “with benefits” relationship without the added bond of really even being friends, more like work acquaintances with benefits, and Rafael intends to keep it that way.. 

The rules are simple, completely clear, and absolutely set in stone.

So Rafael isn’t really sure why he’s walking up the stairs to Sonny’s apartment, a bag of cheap, shitty Chinese food in hand and his box set of _Mystery Science Theater 3000_ tucked under his arm. 

Everything he knows about the Avery Parker case has come through either the news or texts with Olivia. It’s all fairly heartbreaking. Sure, the teenager implicated has done something shitty and disturbing and gross, but the example the office is trying to make of him seems just as filthy. From everything Olivia has told him the girl wouldn’t have wanted this anyway, and the boy seems genuinely broken up over her death. It’s times like these that make Rafael rethink ever wanting to raise a child - not that he isn’t running out of time anyway, he’s forty-four with a job that eats away all of his time and no long-term love in sight. He finds himself dwelling on the poor parents, on the agony that must come with losing a child. How worrying it is to be “different” in such a shitty, complicated time.

More worrying is how broken up Sonny is over the whole thing.

_Carisi is pretty rattled,_ Olivia had texted on one of her few moments of peace. _Asked me for permission to attend the funeral, I’m going to go too. He’s a good kid, he’s got a good heart. I think this might be his first transgender vic, it’s a new experience for him and I think it’s hit him hard._

She has no idea.

The apartment building is old and falling apart, a necessity for a young man low on the totem pole at work and trying to pay his way through night school. The wallpaper peels in large scabby patches, rows upon rows of ugly olive green doors glowing vaguely under piss-yellow hall lights. Rafael reaches the top floor of the building, readjusting everything in his arms so he can knock. He didn’t call to see if Sonny was home, but the AC/DC drifting through the wall gives him a pretty good idea he picked a good time.

“Just a minute, hold on!”

When the door opens it’s to Sonny Carisi looking worn and rough around the edges. He’s dressed in a pair of sleep pants (covered in what appears to be the Rebel Alliance symbol from Star Wars, if he remembers 1983 at all) and an ancient t-shirt from what Rafael assumes to be a summer camp, hair loose and clean and fluffy. Free of its product it’s a mess of half-curls that fall around his temples and ears. He’s barefoot and he smells freshly showered, and he looks like he’s dead on his feet. Transparent. Like a sheet of paper held up to the light.

“Raf,” Sonny starts, clearly confused. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Rafael says with a nod, raising an eyebrow. “More importantly, are you okay?”

Sonny avoids his gaze, looking somewhere over his shoulder. “Hangin’ in there. It’s been a weird week, I’m ready for this whole mess to be over.” 

“I bet,” Rafael says softly. He holds up the bag of food and the DVDs. “Can I come in?”

Sonny is surprised as he takes it all in. They’re not lovers. They’re barely even friends. They’re just two men who occasionally have (great) sex and then part ways like nothing ever happened. Rafael showing up to check on him is definitely a departure from the norm.

“Yeah, absolutely,” he says slowly, stepping aside and ushering Rafael in. “Sorry about the mess.”

Rafael’s eyes sweep to take everything in, from the recycling that badly needs to be taken out to the piles of school books and notepads on the coffee table. There’s a baseball bat propped up against a random door in the hallway, and he wonders vaguely if Sonny knows you’re supposed to dust your lampshades. Still. The apartment is messy, cluttered, but not dirty. He can handle that. “Trust me, mine would look worse if I didn’t pay someone to clean it.” He finds his way into the kitchen, poking around the cabinets until he unearths dishes and silverware. “So talk to me. What’s going on in that pretty head?”

Sonny follows him, treading lightly as he watches Rafael familiarize himself with Sonny’s home. He’s got a look on his face like he suspects this might be a trap. Rafael doesn’t really blame them, between the two of them Sonny has always been the most likely to bend the rules and try to change the nature of their relationship. Rafael is firm in his convictions. He doesn’t bend.

Managing a shrug, Sonny folds his arms and leans back against the counter. “That girl didn’t deserve this, but that boy doesn’t either,” he mutters after a long silence, shaking his head. “He’s not like some Bible-thumping bigot who preys on trans kids, he’s just a dumb teenager who got cocky and shitty. For all we know this would be the thing that changed him for the better. But Avery...Jesus Christ, Raf, she was a good fuckin’ kid. And her parents adored her. Barely any trans kids get that, so why did she have to die?” He’s worrying his lower lip between his teeth, blinking rapidly. “Fuck, it’s messed up.”

Rafael leaves plating the food for a moment, walking closer to Sonny. He pulls him down, pressing a warm kiss to his lips. “I can’t imagine.” Clever fingers work through that mess of fluffy, soft hair, pushing it back before letting it flop forward into Sonny’s eyes again. His touches are soft and affectionate, a completely new dynamic between them.

Sonny let’s out a heart-breaking noise, pushing into the touch. “It’s messed up, Raf. Why do some of us get lucky and the rest end up dead?” 

“I wish I knew, Sonny,” Rafael murmurs, pulling him close. “If I’ve learned anything in this job it’s that the nice ones don’t get a free pass to an easy life. Have you told anyone else at work why it’s hitting you so hard?”

“Not yet,” he says, slipping long arms around Rafael’s waist. “I think Rollins might have me figured out. The rest probably think I just never met a damn trans kid before and I’m clueless.”

“Well, you’re clueless about everything else, it’s a natural assumption,” Rafael cooes teasingly, grinning when Sonny can’t help but smile and pinch his side in retaliation. “Come on, there’s literally nothing better for sadness than Chinese food, beer, and terrible B-movie horror flicks. Let’s relax a little bit and get your mind off of things.”

They do just that. Dinner is sufficiently good and greasy, and it pairs perfectly with the Blue Moon that Sonny has in his freezer. Once they’re finished eating they push the plates aside on the coffee table and tangle together while they stick on Pod People. From what Rafael can tell it’s working to take Sonny’s mind off of things. The younger man laughs helplessly at every quip and crack and joke, cheeks flushed pink every time something is particularly funny. He’s tucked in the corner of the couch with Rafael snuggled up against him, hand stroking lightly at the counselors arm every now and then. At one point clever fingers stroke through Rafael’s hair, just before an absent kiss is pressed to his temple.

It feels amazing, and that’s a little bit terrifying.

This thing between them, this...relationship, they’ve worked so hard to keep it from being too complicated. Rafael especially. He’s so excruciatingly busy all the time, and mixing work and pleasure is such a nightmare. There’ll be paperwork, there’ll be inquisitions, there’ll be defense attorneys who try and use a relationship against them to discredit their cases. And Sonny is pulled so thin between work and school and his family, how would he possibly have time for a boyfriend? Yet here Rafael is, like a complete fool, butterflies flitting around his stomach as he considers how perfectly their bodies fit into each other when they’re just relaxing and watching movies.

He groans, letting his head drop back on Sonny’s shoulder.

Looking down, Sonny raises an eyebrow. “You alright over there?”

“No,” Rafael huffs, eyebrows knit. “I think I have a thing for you.”

For a moment Sonny looks stunned, those impossibly blue eyes wide as they study his face. Soon the confusion passes and he breaks into a beautiful smile that makes Rafael want to punch him right in the goddamn nose. “That a problem for you? I’ve had a thing for you since the first time you went down on me in your office. That’s a mouth to make a guy fall in love, counselor.”

Rafael sits up, indignant. “Why didn’t you tell me? I thought I was breaking the rules!”

Sonny laughs, eyes somehow going wider. “What rules? Was there a contract I was supposed to sign or something? Was I drunk when you put it in front of me?”

“It wouldn’t be legally binding if you were drunk,” Rafael grumbles.

“Raf c’mere,” Sonny says, smile softening as he pulls the counselor close and kisses the top of his head. “Listen don’t get mad, but you’re making this too complicated. You kind of always do. While you’ve been busy following rules no one else knows about I’ve just been...really enjoying your company? Even if you’re a stone cold bitch half of the time.” He smirked, kissing the tip of Rafael’s nose. “Can’t we just...like each other? I know you spent a lot of time trying really hard to despise me but I don’t think it worked.”

“You are pretty annoying sometimes,” Rafael says with a sigh, reaching up to lightly stroke Sonny’s hair back. “I’ve been worried about you this week. All I could think about was how this had to be hurting you and how no one else at work knew enough to keep an eye on you. They don’t understand you. I don’t understand you. You’re kind of the best person out of all of us and it makes us hard to figure out what you need half the time.” He leans in, nuzzling a kiss to the corner of Sonny’s mouth. “You’re too...too good, Sonny. I need to toughen you up.”

Long arms wrap around Rafael’s waist as Sonny adjusts their position, scooting down so he can sprawl on the couch with Rafael pulled on top of him. “Listen, I started transitioning when I was sixteen. If all the kids picking fights and trying to corner me in the locker room didn’t toughen me up? I don’t know what will.” 

Rafael hums, stealing another kiss. “I’ll just have to stop being so nice to you.”

“Jesus, how much meaner can you friggin’ be?” Sonny laughs, yelping when Rafael pinches his thigh. “Oh you are so in for it.”

Sweet kisses and affection on the couch quickly turn into a wrestling match that sends them sprawling on the floor, limbs tangled and laughter filling the apartment. Sonny’s awkwardly knobby knees bump the coffee table, a startled hiss slipping from his lips as he reached down to grab the offending limb. This gives Rafael enough time to slip out of his reach, grinning and throwing a couch cushion at Sonny before he darts for the bedroom. 

He barely has time to undo his tie and his top two buttons before a tall, awkward body tackles him onto the bed.

“Be gentle, I’m old,” Rafael groans, laughing as Sonny covers him with long limbs and firm muscles hidden under nothing but some light pajamas. The groan quickly becomes something much more pleasant and pleased when clever lips kiss their way up his throat and along his jaw. “You know, I came here to check on you and make sure you were mentally sound, and here we are again.”

“Sex keeps me mentally sound,” Sonny assures him, grinning. He draws his tongue lightly along the shell of Rafael’s ear. “You got a thing for me, I’m excited.”

“I do have a thing for you,” Rafael grins, hissing softly as slim hips press down against him.

Sitting up a bit, Sonny sets about getting them undressed. “See? That’s real attractive, counselor. Now it’s not just sex, it’s lovemaking.” He draws the last word out, batting his eyelashes. At the same time clever fingers push Rafael’s shirt open, letting it flutter to his sides and exposing his chest. 

“You’re ridiculous,” Rafael sighs, biting his lip as a warm mouth trails down along his sternum. “Why am I so attracted to such a ridiculous man?”

“I’m charming,” Sonny shrugs. “Now stop talking I’m trying to concentrate.”

Sonny can do some amazing things when he concentrates, so Rafael obeys with a content little hum and settles onto the bed. Even when it’s pitch dark out Sonny’s room seems to glow. The lights of the city shine in through thin curtains to cast everything in a blue wash. It makes it so surreal. Sonny looks good in blue, shadows and light dancing across his face as he kisses and sucks his way down to Rafael’s chest, closing his lips around an already pert nipple and sucking gently.

“Yeah?” Sonny moans at the thin noise that falls from Rafael’s lips, looking up from under heavy lidded eyes. “Your chest is so damn sensitive, I wonder if I could make you come from sucking your nipples...” His kiss-swollen lips curve into a grin at the noise that tears itself from Rafael’s throat. “Yeah? Should I try?”

Rafael swallows hard, tangling his fingers into the curly fluff that is Sonny’s hair before he drowns it in pomade. “What are you going to tell your boss when I die of a heart attack in bed with you?”

“That it was worth it,” Sonny says, distracted for a moment as he reaches up to rustle through his bedside table. He settles back down with a bottle of slick and a dangerous glint in his eyes. Large hands make short work of expensive pants, and soon Rafael is naked and hard, stretched out on the duvet. “Alright,” he says, slipping into his “let’s get down to business” voice. He _clicks_ open the cap, drizzling the lube into his palm and warming it up between his hands. “Alright. So if it gets to be too much tell me, yeah?”

“I doubt too much is a thing that exists where this is concerned, but if they get too sensitive I’ll let you know,” Rafael pants. His cock twitches in agreement, thick and heavy where it rests against his belly. 

“Attaboy,” Sonny hums, pressing a sweet kiss to Rafael’s chin. The counselor tugs him back when he goes to pull away, stealing one more sweet press of lips before he relinquishes control and lies back. 

The first press of a hot tongue to tender flesh draws a sigh from Rafael, back arching slightly into the sensation. Sonny’s mouth is far too clever for his own good, the little bastard. Whether he’s talking circles around them at work during a case or swallowing Rafael’s dick to the root, those pink lips and sweet tongue are impossible to keep up with. Not that he ever really tries, it’s so much more enjoyable to sit back and let things happen as they will. It’s rare that Rafael gives up control. With Sonny it’s almost easy.

For his part Sonny starts off slow, tracing teasing circles around the stiff bud before moving to pay the same attention to the other side. The sweet caress of his tongue is dizzying in its gentleness, so stunningly soft and reverential. How did Rafael ever imagine that they were anything less than crazy about each other? He can see it now in the press of lips to his left nipple, the way Sonny lets his lips stroke and touch over the right with no real pressure. 

“Sonny,” he breathes, fingers tightening in soft waves of dirty blond hair. “Sonny, that feels incredible.”

Sonny hums his agreement as he wraps long, slick fingers around Rafael’s cock, slowly working his prick in time with the unhurried pace of his mouth. “You taste so god damn good,” he murmurs, lips brushing heated skin. “Could spend hours just kissing you, tasting your body…”

“Don’t let me be the one to stop you,” Rafael huffs. He cups his hand along the back of Sonny’s neck, giving an affectionate squeeze before guiding him back down. Sonny takes the hint easily and returns to his task, this time with a heightened speed and focus. His lips become firmer, insistent, sucking kisses drawing the tender bud between his lips as his tongue laps at the stiff peak, teeth flashing out even and white to tease and bring him just to the right side of pain. Rafael normally isn’t very vocal in bed, but he can’t help the way his breath comes out in quick pants and short huffs, the way he squirms like a teenager rolling around with his first boyfriend.

“More, God, more,” he begs, dignity be damned. The hand on his cock speeds up, tightening with each pull, a clever flick of the wrist over the head milking a bead of precum from his tip. He looks down to watch the flushed head disappearing into the circle of Sonny’s fist, eyes drawn to the shift and ripple of a toned bicep as Sonny adjusts to get a better angle. From that sculpted muscle his eyes graze up over a strong shoulder, a lean neck, and finally Sonny’s sweet face.

The look there is what does him in.

Sonny still has his mouth to Rafael’s chest, but his eyes are turned up to catch every flicker of pleasure and emotion on the counselor’s face. He’s ravenous, starving for it. Skin rosy pink and glowing, he moans into over-sensitive skin as he begs with his eyes for Rafael to come. 

Rafael is more than happy to oblige.

Skin washed in the flickering blue light of the neon sign across the street, Rafael digs his heels into the mattress and twists his fingers in Sonny’s hair as he comes. There’s something so surreal about it, the eerie azure light, the way is seems to deepen the already crystal blue of Sonny’s eyes. His orgasm slices through him in vertical lines, starting in his toes and licking up through his body. He comes into Sonny’s hand, spilling through clever fingers and onto his stomach and the thick swath of dark curls at the base of his cock.

“Sonny...fuck! Fuck, oh my God!”

He’s gasping, and he’s surprised to find there are tears in his eyes. Sonny’s lips are there in an instant, kissing softly at the corner of each eye before moving to gasping lips. All they can do is breathe into each other for a moment, Rafael coming down and Sonny still wound so, so tight. It’s so beautiful, so holy. They’ve had sex plenty of times by now, but this moment, this shift of balance as Rafael finds release and Sonny seeks his own, this beautiful silence...it’s something that’s going to stay with him. He knows it.

Hand to Sonny’s chest, he gently pushes until the taller man is lying on his back. “Your turn, detective,” he breathes. He quickly strips Sonny of his pajama pants, utterly ridiculous but wonderful because they’re so _him_. The camp shirt follows, tossed somewhere in the vague direction of Sonny’s hamper. 

Rafael leans in, sliding his hands down Sonny’s well-toned chest and over his abs. He never suspected for a moment the lanky man would be so fit, it was a pleasant surprise the first time he saw him shirtless. Not that he gets it. Sonny hasn’t once seen the inside of a gym and he’ll try to convince anyone who’ll listen that onion rings are healthy, since they’re a vegetable. Still, Rafi isn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He leans in, moaning softly as he licks at a pink nipple. He lets his lips drift lower, affectionately kissing the scars that run under each pectoral. 

“How are you feeling today?” he murmured, lips brushing affectionately against pale skin. “Is there anything I should avoid?”

“No, I am so friggin’ great right now,” Sonny pants, hair damp with sweat and cheeks rosy. “I’m dying for your fingers Rafi, come on, I’m already so wet…”

The mere thought almost has Rafael ready for round two. Instead he skims Sonny’s boxers down and tosses them away, licking his lips as he parts his legs. He wants to tease, he really does. If he really takes his time and keeps Sonny on the edge the younger man can come so hard he’ll blackout, a point of personal pride for a man closer to fifty than anything.Tonight though, tonight Sonny looks so beautiful in the dim light and Rafael wants to give him everything he’s ever needed.

Pressing a kiss to Sonny’s flat stomach, he brings his hand up to run two fingers lightly along Sonny’s entrance. He wasn’t lying, he is slick. Usually they need lube to ease the way, thanks to the testosterone shots, but tonight is an exception. Dipping his fingers into the soft folds, he runs them up to circle teasingly along Sonny’s clit. 

“Good? Not too sensitive today, right?” Rafael asks, biting his lip hard.

In response Sonny moans, letting his legs fall farther apart.

“Guess not,” Rafael laughs. His free hand pushes Sonny’s left knee higher, while the one between his thighs strokes and teases and works Sonny up into a proper frenzy. He waits until the younger man is whining and canting his hips up impatiently before he gives him what he wants, turning his palm up and working two fingers into his wet heat.

Sonny keens, back arching. “Fuckin...fuckin...fuck, Rafael,” is all he can manage, chest heaving. He looks completely wanton, fucking down onto Rafael’s fingers with little twists of his hips, worrying his lush bottom lip between his teeth. His eyebrows are knit together, a sweet wrinkle of concentration between them.

“You’re so worked up,” Rafael sooths. “I’m barely touching you, we only just got started.” He sets a steady pace, not too fast but nice and deep. The hand on Sonny’s thigh strokes up over his belly, down to thumb gently at that beautiful hot spot nestled in soft, downy curls. Sonny gasps and bucks into the touch.

“S-suck me?” he begs, voice thick and smoky as his arousal curls through every system in his body. His eyes are blown dark, hair damp with sweat and sticking to his temples. Sweet pink nipples are peaked and flushed, toes curling and fingers plucking at the bedsheets. 

Rafael licks his lips, making sure Sonny sees the action. “With pleasure,” he growls, ducking down to suck his clit between eager lips.

This was hard in the beginning. Even as convinced as he was that they were merely friends with benefits, Rafael had worried that something he might do would trigger Sonny and trip him up in a maze of dysmorphia. Every touch had been tentative, almost afraid. 

Until Sonny told him in no uncertain terms that he didn’t mind being a dude with a vagina and if Rafael didn’t hurry up and fuck him he was going to scream.

It’s easy now. Sonny is comfortable in his body, and Rafael is comfortable in his bed. They’ve fallen into a rhythm and found balance. They understand.

Rafael gives another firm suck, curling his fingers to stroke that spot deep inside that makes Sonny howl. It takes him a moment, but a sudden shout and tensing of creamy thighs tells him he’s got it. His hand speeds up, fingertips stroking and petting that spot as his tongue flicks cleverly over the tip of Sonny’s clit. The hormones have made it the perfect size to get his mouth around, and he lives to curl his tongue around the sensitive hood to draw a chorus of sighs and moans from Sonny’s beautiful lips.

He can feel when Sonny starts to get close, can feel the way he starts to tense and bare down on the fingers inside of him. Rafael sits up, giving a long lick to Sonny’s clit before looking up into his eyes. 

“Come on Sonny,” he purrs. “Give it to me, let me feel it.”

Sonny whines, face gone from a soft blush to a violent mottled red that spreads down to his chest and stomach. He’s got his feet planted on the mattress, rocking down to meet Rafael’s relentless fingers as they fuck into him.

Sonny’s orgasms are like a car crash. Loud and violent and you can’t look away. He tilts his head back and _wails_ , the sudden rush of slick release over Rafael’s fingers thick and satisfying. He continues to thrust and wriggle through it, thighs tense and eyes shut tight as he whimpers and whines and jerks.

When he’s done Rafael withdraws his fingers, licking them clean.

“Are you are fuckin’ naughty,” Sonny pants, chest heaving and eyes glazed. “Jesus, that was...Jesus.”

“Mhm,” Rafael hums, exhausted now that the adrenaline has passed. He crawls up to kiss Sonny, letting the younger man gather him close in a cuddle.

Sonny nuzzles a kiss into Rafael’s temple, still catching his breath as he holds him close. This is new territory. Cuddling hasn’t really been a thing between them until tonight, but Rafael has to admit that he feels a lot more comfortable than he’d anticipated. He let’s his muscles relax, sinking into the man underneath him.

He turns his head to yawn, and when he looks back Sonny’s got a look of raw vulnerability in his eyes.

“You gonna stay the night?” he asks quietly, hopeful and young.

Rafael brings a hand up, stroking his cheek and pushing his sweat-damp hair back off of his forehead. He leans in, kissing Sonny in a way that’s all warmth and honest affection. “I’m going to stay the night,” he murmurs before meeting his lips in another kiss. “And in the morning I’m going to make you breakfast. And then maybe even stick around for lunch.”

“And maybe stick around forever?” Sonny murmurs, voice a prayer in the stillness of the bedroom.

“Longer than that,” Rafael assures them. They settle into each other, easy kisses and comfortable touches, honest words and promises. Outside, the electric blue neon light flickers.

**Author's Note:**

> Gosh I really enjoyed writing this. These characters have so much potential in a show that has no real time to explore it.
> 
> I'm on tumblr! Come hang out with me [here](http://that-vicious-vixen.tumblr.com), I take fic requests and love to talk headcanons and Sonny and Rafael and the adorable idiots that play them.


End file.
